RFID Chip Now Being Issued In Hanna, Wyoming As Part Of New “Obamacare” Plan

Here We Can See The Size And Shape Of The Exciting New RFID Chip. The “Obamacare” RFID chips are currently being given a test run on the proud and patriotic citizens of Hanna, Wyoming.

Over the last two weeks a special piece of legislation has been passed making it mandatory for anyone who receives welfare, or any other form of government assistance to be implanted with these new identification chips.

Even select government employees and officials have been ordered to receive the new sub-dermal device, which is typically implanted in the fatty tissue of the individual’s buttock.

 Police officers, military, even garbage men will all be required to have the RFID chip by the end of next month or face termination from their jobs.

During the beta testing stage of this amazing new technological development, many news outlets have remained silent waiting to see how the trial pans out before reporting on the subject. National Report, always on the cutting edge, sent me on location to Hanna, Wyoming to speak with some of the towns folk and gather their opinions and experiences regarding their newly acquired RFID chips.
Tammy Josephine Laurence, a single mother of three who is currently accepting housing assistance got her chip implanted just hours before we had a chance to sit down and speak with her. She had the following to say:

Preliminary Sketches Of What Later Came To Be Known As The RFID Chip

“Well, they said I better do this, or they was gonna cut the welfare. I’m a full time single mother. I got three young kids that need me at all hours and ain’t no man to help. I didn’t have no choice…”
When asked if the procedure was invasive she informed us that it was “a little like giving blood” and that she felt “tired after getting the implant” which apparently is a common but benign side effect.
I also spoke with Hanna, Wyoming’s Mayor Ted Howell, whose full support of the RFID chip made it mandatory for the citizens of his small community. Leading by example he was the first recipient of the RFID chip , having it implanted publicly at a recent town hall meeting. “This is change for a better, safer America” he said while undergoing the ten minute procedure. “With this scientific advancement, the terrorists do not stand a chance… USA will prevail…”

The ordinance has had some opposition, however, as several of the local churches have spoke out against the chips with protests. These fringe apocalyptic churches believe Obama to be the anti-Christ and claim the RFID chip is the Mark Of The Beast written about in their Book Of Revelations. They site the RFID chip’s supposed serial number of 131618 as corresponding with Revelations 13:16-18. Of course, rural superstitions ultimately have no sway when it comes to the progressive new America and their scripture laden outcries have largely been ignored.

This journalist embraces the new change, and even got her very own RFID chip before heading back to the National Report’s home offices. The surgery was quick, simple and more or less painless. I can barely tell I’ve been implanted at all. A sacrifice I’ve gladly made for my country’s national security and hope you will too.

Jane M. Agni

Jane Agni is a freelance writer residing in the rain-soaked city of Portland, Oregon. She has written for such fine websites as "The B*tch Opinion" and "A Bleeder's Blog."
Her book entitled "The States Of Shame: Living As A Liberated Womyn In America" appeared on Oprah's Book Club and quickly went bestseller shortly thereafter. She's currently at work on the follow up tentatively named "Sisters Of Shame: The Why In Womyn" .
Jane Agni maintains on-call status for the National Report, giving her unique perspective on the latest world events, as well as writing part-time for Sin-Eater Productions under the nom-de-plume "Miss. Agni".

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