'Woman In Red' Actress Kelly LeBrock Opens Up About Painful Divorce From Steven Seagal

 

Former model Kelly LeBrock, who starred in the '80s hit movies "The Woman In Red" and "Weird Science," recently opened up about how her divorce from action star Steven Seagal left her reeling and caused her to retreat from Hollywood.

LeBrock spoke to The Daily Mail about her 1996 divorce and why it prompted her to move out of the spotlight and seek solace in Santa Barbara, Calif.

"I admit, I became a hermit," LeBrock said. "When I split with Steven, the divorce was very ugly, and details of the case were on the evening news. I didn't want my kids seeing it, so I simply got rid of the TV. I moved my kids out of LA so they could grow up with real people -- the kids of gas pump attendants, plumbers, and real family people."

And although she had once made her living off of her looks, LeBrock said the divorce left her without any self esteem.

"I feared everything and didn’t want to leave the house," she said. "I had absolutely no self-esteem. I hated myself."

LeBrock and Seagal married in 1987 and divorced nearly 10 years later. They have three children together.

LeBrock, who was previously married to the producer of "The Woman In Red," Victor Drai, from 1984 to 1986, briefly returned to the spotlight in 2006 when she appeared on the weight loss show "Celebrity Fit Club." LeBrock has been married to retired investment banker Fred Steck since 2007.

Click through the slideshow below to see what other celebrities have said about their post-divorce struggles.

Source http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/08/27/woman-in-red-actress_n_3825460.html?utm_hp_ref=mostpopular

Keep in touch! Check out HuffPost Divorce on Facebook and Twitter.

'Woman In Red' Actress Kelly LeBrock Opens Up About Painful Divorce From Steven Seagal

 

Former model Kelly LeBrock, who starred in the '80s hit movies "The Woman In Red" and "Weird Science," recently opened up about how her divorce from action star Steven Seagal left her reeling and caused her to retreat from Hollywood.

LeBrock spoke to The Daily Mail about her 1996 divorce and why it prompted her to move out of the spotlight and seek solace in Santa Barbara, Calif.

"I admit, I became a hermit," LeBrock said. "When I split with Steven, the divorce was very ugly, and details of the case were on the evening news. I didn't want my kids seeing it, so I simply got rid of the TV. I moved my kids out of LA so they could grow up with real people -- the kids of gas pump attendants, plumbers, and real family people."

And although she had once made her living off of her looks, LeBrock said the divorce left her without any self esteem.

"I feared everything and didn’t want to leave the house," she said. "I had absolutely no self-esteem. I hated myself."

LeBrock and Seagal married in 1987 and divorced nearly 10 years later. They have three children together.

LeBrock, who was previously married to the producer of "The Woman In Red," Victor Drai, from 1984 to 1986, briefly returned to the spotlight in 2006 when she appeared on the weight loss show "Celebrity Fit Club." LeBrock has been married to retired investment banker Fred Steck since 2007.

Click through the slideshow below to see what other celebrities have said about their post-divorce struggles.

Source http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/08/27/woman-in-red-actress_n_3825460.html?utm_hp_ref=mostpopular

Keep in touch! Check out HuffPost Divorce on Facebook and Twitter.

Why Your Daughter Wants to Be a Porn Star

My departure from the adult business was fairly public. Thanks to Dr. Drew and reality television, I participated in a wide array of televised interviews about my decision to quit porn. From Oprah to Extra! and The View to Tyra, some of our best-known talk show hosts wanted answers to complex questions: Why did I get into porn? What made me quit? I did my best to answer honestly and thoughtfully, not just for myself, but also for my compatriots still in the business, and for all of the young women out there who are a lot like I was when I first disrobed in front of a camera as a part-time job in college. These questions are more relevant than ever today, with the ongoing proliferation of porn in our culture and the potential consequences of participating in porn, both physically and possibly emotionally. A recent Daily Beast feature even addressed the lighter version of this issue. The article discussed how difficult it is to prevent your daughter from morphing into the newest, shiniest feminine archetype: a prince-seeking Disney princess.

Of course, there was no way I could have explained my motivation to enter or exit porn in a 15-minute television interview, and I can't get to the bottom of it in an article meant to be read over morning coffee. Aside from the fact that, as humans, motivation is an intricate web of rationalizations tangled up with semi-truths and brain functions that can fill out a whole textbook, there are also a whole slew of cultural pressures that impacted my decision and affect young women today in ways that's difficult to distill and analyze. But here's what I can tell you:

I have put four years, a Bachelor's degree in psychology, and the beginning of a Master's in Social Work between my present self and my past porn career. In this time, and given the fact that I know quite a few girls who have left the biz, I feel like I now understand some of the contributing motivational factors related to getting in and out of the industry. I believe these can easily be applied to the majority of women performing in the adult business. If you are a parent, you might want to take notes, because this has more to do with you than you may wish to admit. In fact, these are the reasons why your daughter wants to be a porn star. (Just in case you're wondering, I fit numbers 2, 3, 6, 8, 9 and 10. And I loved Disney movies).

1. Because you loved her enough, but you didn't love her right. You weren't attuned to your daughter's emotional state as a child, and now, she has difficulty connecting intimately with other human beings. It's not that you meant to handicap her. You may even have a bit of a problem with authentic intimacy too, and it's probably an intergenerational issue, so look to your mom and dad for answers as to how the cycle started in the first place.
2. Because you were her friend, and not her parent (Hello Baby Boomers!). You never set solid parental boundaries, and you failed to teach her about her right to have her personal boundaries respected. Your permissive parenting led to her low self-esteem and crappy social skills. There are four major parenting styles, and I hate to tell you, this one is not the best.
3. Because you got divorced, and it was ugly. I don't even need to discuss the damaging effects of a nasty divorce because these statistics are known. However, if you still think it's cool to get divorced and drag your kids through the mud because children are resilient, or won't notice how poorly you two treat one another, think again. A study by Paul Armato shows that children of divorce continue to score lower academically, and in the areas of "psychological adjustment, self-concept and social competence." Furthering this concern, a 2002 study in The Journal of Pediatric Psychology found that adolescents from mother-alone or mother-absent homes are more likely to become sexually active at a young age, risk taking behavior that is compounded by substance abuse and lack of social support. Yes, there are situations in which divorce is best for all, but the process by which divorce happens is delicate and negative consequences can have lasting effects.
4. Because you raped, beat, or neglected her. Or someone close to you did. Though plenty of women who were abused as children do not go into porn, many women who have been abused (physically, emotionally or sexually) do participate in sexual risk taking behaviors. Even though a recent study found no link between pornography and child abuse, ample research on prostitution and child abuse provide insight to correlates of selling sex. A 2012 study on juvenile entry into prostitution explores the far-reaching consequences of abuse incurred in childhood, and the suggested pathways associated with entering prostitution (i.e. the selling of sex). Of course, this statement shifts the focus from the real argument, and can turn this point into a new argument about whether prostitution is equivalent to participating in pornography. I would suggest looking up the legal definition of prostitution, which states very simply that prostitution is "the act of offering one's self for hire to engage in sexual relations."
5. Because you are a prude -- or a total slut -- and you didn't have a good handle on your own sexuality. Your lack of self-knowledge may have led you to inadequately educate your daughter about sex, either teaching an abstinence only or laissez-faire approach. Statistics on abstinence-only programs show this approach to be ineffective. And if you divorced, letting the men (or women) you subsequently dated run in and out of your life (and your daughter's life) taught her that significant others, and people in general, are exchangeable. Kids need the truth about sex, and reliable sources of adult support and attachment. This article addresses the issues in both point four and five.
6. Because you let her watch insane amounts of television. There is a cost to letting the media raise your children. Even an hour over the average 72 minutes most children watch per day can cause great damage.
7. Because you gave her a smartphone when she was 10, and now she takes awesome #selfies all day. With every picture she takes to post to her social media sites, she becomes less sensitive to the idea of her images floating around on the web. Studies show that higher social media use is correlated with narcissism. Sexting is a booming practice, and a gateway technology usage that might lead to appearances on Internet porn sites. You can be fairly certain that your daughter has either thought about sexting, or has friends who do it.
8. Because her friends want to be porn stars, Playboy models, the Bachelorette or any other exaggerated and hyper-sexualized version of a real woman, and you aren't close to her friends. When a child has excessive contact with her peers and loses touch with safe adult attachments, the likelihood increases that she will become an addict, as mentioned in addiction specialist Dr. Gabor Maté's recent book, In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts. I think it's possible that the problems arising from being raised by her peers can also lead to other harmful and immediately gratifying behaviors, like participating in porn.
9. Because you never showed her a healthy way to fill the spiritual void that is quintessentially human. Isn't it interesting that girls leave porn because they've found religion? It happens every day, even to girls who were considered to be "the world's hottest porn star." Money, sexual exploration, and false adoration didn't provide personal fulfillment like spirituality did.
10. Because you did the best you could to raise her right... but it wasn't enough.

The truth about pornography is that the motivations that cause a young woman to enter or exit the business are as complex as is the brain that makes the decision. Whittling cause and effect down to a single reason -- number eight! No! Four! Wait, nine sounds good -- is tantamount to trying to explain why someone decided to become a neuroscientist. An 18-year-old girl's career choice to go into porn isn't entirely attributable to her parents just like an 18-year-old boy's career choice to become a neuroscientist isn't entirely attributable to his. Yet in both scenarios, the parents played a large role by creating the environment in which such career choices were viable, regardless of the Grand Canyon-sized gap between a neuroscientist's professional role and an upcoming young starlet's. So next time you see your daughter, remember you are a few choices away from creating an environment in which she believes a career in pornography is the best path for her. Or she could believe a different path is possible. In many ways, it really is up to you.

Follow Jennifer Ketcham on Twitter:
www.twitter.com/becomingjennie


Check for more of these good reads  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jennifer-ketcham/why-your-daughter-wants-t_b_3813727.html

Why Your Daughter Wants to Be a Porn Star

My departure from the adult business was fairly public. Thanks to Dr. Drew and reality television, I participated in a wide array of televised interviews about my decision to quit porn. From Oprah to Extra! and The View to Tyra, some of our best-known talk show hosts wanted answers to complex questions: Why did I get into porn? What made me quit? I did my best to answer honestly and thoughtfully, not just for myself, but also for my compatriots still in the business, and for all of the young women out there who are a lot like I was when I first disrobed in front of a camera as a part-time job in college. These questions are more relevant than ever today, with the ongoing proliferation of porn in our culture and the potential consequences of participating in porn, both physically and possibly emotionally. A recent Daily Beast feature even addressed the lighter version of this issue. The article discussed how difficult it is to prevent your daughter from morphing into the newest, shiniest feminine archetype: a prince-seeking Disney princess.

Of course, there was no way I could have explained my motivation to enter or exit porn in a 15-minute television interview, and I can't get to the bottom of it in an article meant to be read over morning coffee. Aside from the fact that, as humans, motivation is an intricate web of rationalizations tangled up with semi-truths and brain functions that can fill out a whole textbook, there are also a whole slew of cultural pressures that impacted my decision and affect young women today in ways that's difficult to distill and analyze. But here's what I can tell you:

I have put four years, a Bachelor's degree in psychology, and the beginning of a Master's in Social Work between my present self and my past porn career. In this time, and given the fact that I know quite a few girls who have left the biz, I feel like I now understand some of the contributing motivational factors related to getting in and out of the industry. I believe these can easily be applied to the majority of women performing in the adult business. If you are a parent, you might want to take notes, because this has more to do with you than you may wish to admit. In fact, these are the reasons why your daughter wants to be a porn star. (Just in case you're wondering, I fit numbers 2, 3, 6, 8, 9 and 10. And I loved Disney movies).

1. Because you loved her enough, but you didn't love her right. You weren't attuned to your daughter's emotional state as a child, and now, she has difficulty connecting intimately with other human beings. It's not that you meant to handicap her. You may even have a bit of a problem with authentic intimacy too, and it's probably an intergenerational issue, so look to your mom and dad for answers as to how the cycle started in the first place.
2. Because you were her friend, and not her parent (Hello Baby Boomers!). You never set solid parental boundaries, and you failed to teach her about her right to have her personal boundaries respected. Your permissive parenting led to her low self-esteem and crappy social skills. There are four major parenting styles, and I hate to tell you, this one is not the best.
3. Because you got divorced, and it was ugly. I don't even need to discuss the damaging effects of a nasty divorce because these statistics are known. However, if you still think it's cool to get divorced and drag your kids through the mud because children are resilient, or won't notice how poorly you two treat one another, think again. A study by Paul Armato shows that children of divorce continue to score lower academically, and in the areas of "psychological adjustment, self-concept and social competence." Furthering this concern, a 2002 study in The Journal of Pediatric Psychology found that adolescents from mother-alone or mother-absent homes are more likely to become sexually active at a young age, risk taking behavior that is compounded by substance abuse and lack of social support. Yes, there are situations in which divorce is best for all, but the process by which divorce happens is delicate and negative consequences can have lasting effects.
4. Because you raped, beat, or neglected her. Or someone close to you did. Though plenty of women who were abused as children do not go into porn, many women who have been abused (physically, emotionally or sexually) do participate in sexual risk taking behaviors. Even though a recent study found no link between pornography and child abuse, ample research on prostitution and child abuse provide insight to correlates of selling sex. A 2012 study on juvenile entry into prostitution explores the far-reaching consequences of abuse incurred in childhood, and the suggested pathways associated with entering prostitution (i.e. the selling of sex). Of course, this statement shifts the focus from the real argument, and can turn this point into a new argument about whether prostitution is equivalent to participating in pornography. I would suggest looking up the legal definition of prostitution, which states very simply that prostitution is "the act of offering one's self for hire to engage in sexual relations."
5. Because you are a prude -- or a total slut -- and you didn't have a good handle on your own sexuality. Your lack of self-knowledge may have led you to inadequately educate your daughter about sex, either teaching an abstinence only or laissez-faire approach. Statistics on abstinence-only programs show this approach to be ineffective. And if you divorced, letting the men (or women) you subsequently dated run in and out of your life (and your daughter's life) taught her that significant others, and people in general, are exchangeable. Kids need the truth about sex, and reliable sources of adult support and attachment. This article addresses the issues in both point four and five.
6. Because you let her watch insane amounts of television. There is a cost to letting the media raise your children. Even an hour over the average 72 minutes most children watch per day can cause great damage.
7. Because you gave her a smartphone when she was 10, and now she takes awesome #selfies all day. With every picture she takes to post to her social media sites, she becomes less sensitive to the idea of her images floating around on the web. Studies show that higher social media use is correlated with narcissism. Sexting is a booming practice, and a gateway technology usage that might lead to appearances on Internet porn sites. You can be fairly certain that your daughter has either thought about sexting, or has friends who do it.
8. Because her friends want to be porn stars, Playboy models, the Bachelorette or any other exaggerated and hyper-sexualized version of a real woman, and you aren't close to her friends. When a child has excessive contact with her peers and loses touch with safe adult attachments, the likelihood increases that she will become an addict, as mentioned in addiction specialist Dr. Gabor Maté's recent book, In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts. I think it's possible that the problems arising from being raised by her peers can also lead to other harmful and immediately gratifying behaviors, like participating in porn.
9. Because you never showed her a healthy way to fill the spiritual void that is quintessentially human. Isn't it interesting that girls leave porn because they've found religion? It happens every day, even to girls who were considered to be "the world's hottest porn star." Money, sexual exploration, and false adoration didn't provide personal fulfillment like spirituality did.
10. Because you did the best you could to raise her right... but it wasn't enough.

The truth about pornography is that the motivations that cause a young woman to enter or exit the business are as complex as is the brain that makes the decision. Whittling cause and effect down to a single reason -- number eight! No! Four! Wait, nine sounds good -- is tantamount to trying to explain why someone decided to become a neuroscientist. An 18-year-old girl's career choice to go into porn isn't entirely attributable to her parents just like an 18-year-old boy's career choice to become a neuroscientist isn't entirely attributable to his. Yet in both scenarios, the parents played a large role by creating the environment in which such career choices were viable, regardless of the Grand Canyon-sized gap between a neuroscientist's professional role and an upcoming young starlet's. So next time you see your daughter, remember you are a few choices away from creating an environment in which she believes a career in pornography is the best path for her. Or she could believe a different path is possible. In many ways, it really is up to you.

Follow Jennifer Ketcham on Twitter:
www.twitter.com/becomingjennie


Check for more of these good reads  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jennifer-ketcham/why-your-daughter-wants-t_b_3813727.html

Marriage Mistakes That Lead To Divorce

By Anita Yok Sim Ho for YourTango.com
In marriage it's common sense advice to treat one another with respect and share love. But some are not so sure what that looks like on a day to day basis. That's where things get a little trickier. Check out this list of marriage "don'ts" to make sure you're on the right track to a lasting, loving relationship.
For A Healthy Marriage, Don't...

1. Close the door to communication
How can you expect anything to be resolved without clear communication? Take the time to deeply listen to your significant other before responding. We often want to dive into an argument quickly and come from a place of reactivity and fear. Be very mindful of your intention before you speak. Ask yourself, is this for the interest to promote sharing and harmony or is this a need to be right or to control. Look underneath the words to the heart of the matter: often the visible disagreement is only the end result of a much deeper issue. Doing this will set the stage for a much quicker and cleaner resolution.

2. Assume it's your partner's job to make you happy
Putting the heavy responsibility on another human being to make you happy all the time is unrealistic and unfair. Tune into yourself and really know yourself. Love yourself. Meditate, journal, eat well and set out with the intention of discovering yourself. When you know and love yourself from the inside out, you are much better able to deal with life's curveballs with ease and grace — and much less frustration and anger.

3. Withhold intimacy
It's guaranteed that every couple will experience disagreements and hurt feelings. During these bumps in the road, it is essential to keep the usual intimacy going. For some, a single heartfelt touch is worth a thousand words and its weight in gold. To express love in this manner really demonstrates to the other that unconditional love exists. That's important to a relationship: you should support and care for one another even through arguments.

4. Hinder your partner's growth
All life moves in cycles, and as human beings we are no different. As in nature, if you are not growing, you are dying. We constantly have new experiences and this brings the possibility of changes. When your partner changes and grows, it can feel threatening. But trust that they are moving forward in a way that is healthy and important. You would want them to support you in the same way. Are you in a partnership or are you a jailkeeper?

Credit Source Here

Marriage Mistakes That Lead To Divorce

By Anita Yok Sim Ho for YourTango.com
In marriage it's common sense advice to treat one another with respect and share love. But some are not so sure what that looks like on a day to day basis. That's where things get a little trickier. Check out this list of marriage "don'ts" to make sure you're on the right track to a lasting, loving relationship.
For A Healthy Marriage, Don't...

1. Close the door to communication
How can you expect anything to be resolved without clear communication? Take the time to deeply listen to your significant other before responding. We often want to dive into an argument quickly and come from a place of reactivity and fear. Be very mindful of your intention before you speak. Ask yourself, is this for the interest to promote sharing and harmony or is this a need to be right or to control. Look underneath the words to the heart of the matter: often the visible disagreement is only the end result of a much deeper issue. Doing this will set the stage for a much quicker and cleaner resolution.

2. Assume it's your partner's job to make you happy
Putting the heavy responsibility on another human being to make you happy all the time is unrealistic and unfair. Tune into yourself and really know yourself. Love yourself. Meditate, journal, eat well and set out with the intention of discovering yourself. When you know and love yourself from the inside out, you are much better able to deal with life's curveballs with ease and grace — and much less frustration and anger.

3. Withhold intimacy
It's guaranteed that every couple will experience disagreements and hurt feelings. During these bumps in the road, it is essential to keep the usual intimacy going. For some, a single heartfelt touch is worth a thousand words and its weight in gold. To express love in this manner really demonstrates to the other that unconditional love exists. That's important to a relationship: you should support and care for one another even through arguments.

4. Hinder your partner's growth
All life moves in cycles, and as human beings we are no different. As in nature, if you are not growing, you are dying. We constantly have new experiences and this brings the possibility of changes. When your partner changes and grows, it can feel threatening. But trust that they are moving forward in a way that is healthy and important. You would want them to support you in the same way. Are you in a partnership or are you a jailkeeper?

Credit Source Here